Before I begin, let me premise this blog to say you don’t have to be married to have a miracle happen in your relationship. But here’s my marriage miracle as an example for you.
I met my husband when I was unsaved and a free spirit, meaning I was searching for fun and supposed freedom in a wide range of experiences. I had been dating a couple of guys before going on holiday to Surfers Paradise, Queensland. After alighting from our airport bus I asked my two girlfriends to request a porter to carry my suitcase.
A good-looking dark guy emerged from the hotel and sauntered towards me. I was to learn later that Mauritians always saunter everywhere for all appointments, all the time. He picked up my suitcase (back then there were no suitcase wheels), depositing it and myself in the hotel lift. As the lift doors closed, he smiled with perfect pearly white teeth haloed by his sun-blackened face. I fell backwards into my friends, hand on heart declaring “I’m in love!” (I love a bit of melodrama, don’t you?)
I next saw my newfound heartthrob who came to our rescue against a cockroach attack in our room. Long story short, we met a few times before I headed home to Melbourne, inviting him down whenever he could make it.
Our first “official” date, a month later in Melbourne, was a trip to church–although I thought it was an odd sort of date and only reluctantly agreed. The church experience was a shock to my system but after he returned to Queensland, I couldn’t wait to get back the following week. There I was radically saved into the kingdom of God and His family. The story is an exciting and romantic one as within a few months, I was swept into the arms of Jesus and my future husband.
When reality hit, after a fairytale beginning, I found things very difficult. 20 years later, a mortgage and two kids, I wondered how it was that I found myself needing a miracle. I needed one of the same magnitude all those years ago when I was saved.
I’ve learnt a lot on this marriage journey, here are a couple of keys that I hope will be helpful:
1. God is in the business of miracles when it seems impossible—in my marriage and in your relationship, God makes a way. Faith can rise as you hang in there and stay the distance.
'Thus says the Lord, who makes a way in the sea and a path through the mighty waters…'
NKJ 43:16
2. Ruminating or going over and over in your mind what is wrong with that person or that situation is called catastrophising by psychologists and definitely makes things worse. I’m pretty good at this and perhaps you are too. Instead the key is to remember the best in this person, who they are and have been in good times. That person still exists. Remind yourself. Tell yourself. Over and over. Again and again.
'Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of a good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things'.
NKJ Phillipians 4: 8
3. Start by doing or saying good things to him or her. Aim for a daily deposit to build them up. You’ll be amazed at what you will see in that person and how they will begin to respond. I’m not saying this is easy. It definitely is not. Your senses will scream. Your flesh will argue against it. But giving is a biblical principle which will always be honoured by God, no matter the currency of giving.
'Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.' NKJ Luke 6:38
During this process, never give up and pray like it really changes things. This will allow God to move mountains because of your faithfulness, obedience and the power of the Holy Spirit. You might just begin to see your marriage or relationship miracle unfold, so get ready for your testimony.
It takes grit. It takes determination. Yes. But know this—if I can do this with God, you can too!
Love Peta XO
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