Updated: Aug 19, 2021
A couple of years ago, I wrote some blogs and a marriage course around the idea that men and women are different so that in a way we’re all married to fruit-loops. In other words we all have our issues and we’re all doing the best we can but somehow in marriage or in other relationships we see others as the problem or the fruit-loop.
The marriage chapter of the Bible is Ephesians chapter 5. This chapter talks about husbands loving their wives and wives respecting their husbands. I think God must have a sense of humour to create men and women so very different in order for us to grow and be refined. In fact, we’re almost forced to mature if we want to stay married or to stay in a relationship with this fruit-loop God has given us.
I have learned to respect my husband and his role as God ordained. He wants to protect and be the warrior for our family. I’ve also learned to respect his objectivity even if at times I would like a bit of subjectivity into the discussion. So into those discussions he has learned to love me as I would like to be loved. To be heard, to download without being fixed, and be allowed to just feel.
Many times we don’t get it right. I tend to speak my mind instead of respectfully considering his thoughts. He has had to learn not to try to fix me but understand compassion and the intuitive or compassionate side of a discussion (or should I say on occasions, an argument).
Somehow in all of this fruit-loop messiness, God needs to be the centre. Ecclesiastes 4:12 NKJV reads:
Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Knowing that somehow God is the third strand, in fact the main strand in our relationship, helps us. When we mess up, someone needs to start the ball rolling to come back together to apologise and begin again. So it may have to be you precious one.
Just to live in this world with members of the opposite sex is key to understanding that God created us very different and unique. But two halves make a whole and in fact, complete each other. Make a choice. Choose to appreciate and look for the strengths in others instead of focusing on the weaknesses or lack in that other person.
This may require you and I to let go of bitterness, unforgiveness and judgements. After all we’re all fruit-loops in a mad world, just trying to move along heavenward.
Love Peta XO
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