Loss and grief are a part of life, although we don’t want to address death, it does happen and we do need to get through it when it comes close to you. There’s no instant or magic formula for getting through it, although it has been suggested there are stages of grief which are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and then acceptance. [1] Each person goes through loss and grief differently – some feel helpless, overwhelmed, isolated or devastated and some withdraw or others seek support. As Christians, knowing that a loved one or a friend or family member had a relationship with the Lord does instil hope, if this is not the case then this can be devastating for believers who have lost loved ones.
I have been grieving the loss of a friend and potential loss of another friend for some months and heaven and thoughts of heaven can be part of that grieving process as they have been for me. The main thing to understand is that grief is normal, it’s a difficult and lengthy process, there is no set timing and it’s important to practice self-care. In whatever ways that means to each person. It could be spending time with others, taking care of our bodies, reaching out for help in our community or for grief counselling, spending time with God. For me it has been a journey of trusting God for my care and the care of others as well as talking with safe others.
What do we do when someone else is grieving that we care about? How do we help them? The first thing is to acknowledge their loss by saying something such as ‘I’m really sorry to hear what’s happened.’ And then by agreeing that it seems unfair and terrible without giving any advice but just empathising with their pain is the next very important part of helping a person who is struggling with loss. Listening at this time is the thing that many people need – just to be heard and cared for so that might mean reaching out or offering whatever help they might need. You might recognise certain symptoms in others so suggesting seeking help in a gentle way, might be what is needed.
There are some indicators for grief such as feeling physically drained, sleep issues, forgetful, appetite changes, physical aches and pains, busyness in order to avoid thinking, being withdrawn, frequent crying and even some excessive or harmful actions. [2]
In conclusion, during times of grief, whether yours or others, remember loss is inevitable and God has prepared a wonderful place called Heaven so trust in Him and His plans to be comforted
Love and Blessings
Peta
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