I would like to suggest an interpersonal tool which is very powerful to pop into your relationship toolbox. It is gratitude or being thankful. Positive psychological research backs up the Bible which says to 'abound in thanksgiving' (See Colossians 2:7).
I wonder if appreciating others comes naturally to you or if perhaps you are like me and must work at it? I have to remind myself not to take my husband for granted, who does all the cooking now. He’s a great cook and I’m a great cleaner-upper, so it works well. Other people in my life also do much to make my life easier so I need to remember to send them little notes occasionally, appreciating their help. This topic of gratitude has more research around it than any other intervention in positive psychology with studies showing that it can transform lives. Wow!
So, I want to know more about that and perhaps you do too!
The word gratitude is derived from the Latin word meaning favour and pleasing factors. The word grace also comes from the same root word so they’re in good company. The strange thing about gratitude is that when we exercise it, it helps us become humble.
Humble? Because we recognise that we are not the sole reason for the success stories in our lives. That in fact, people have contributed in different ways to help us get to those accomplishments. And of course, we know that any victories come from God Himself.
A further interesting factor about gratitude is that when we recognise that we are not the only owners of our success, it is transformational for us psychologically as we give the gift of saying thank you. But not only psychologically, it has been shown through research to also impact us physically, emotionally, and interpersonally.
Guess what? The facts are that you and I are happier when we’re grateful, we’re nice to be around and it really can change us and our world! [1]
So thank you for reading this, I appreciate you.
Peta
Need to be relaxed to be able to thank others? 'De-stress God’s Way' could help you get practical strategies. Fortnightly De-stress God's Way online group coaching for ways to be peaceful about your relationships and conversations.
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[1] Here are some good resources if you are interested:
Thanks! How practicing gratitude can make you happier. Robert A Emmons, Houghton Mifflin.
The gratitude project. J.A. Smith, K. M. Newman, J. Marsh & D. Keltner.