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Updated: Aug 9, 2021

If you believe in yourself—really believe in you, then you can influence your world in a truly wonderful way. What you think and say about yourself when you look in the mirror is what others will also see. If you see a brave, fearless, confident, decisive you, then that’s how you will act and relate with others. However, if you see someone who is fearful, unsuccessful, without skills or abilities you will limit your own life and the lives of those you care about.

My book Unfrazzle & Re-dazzle: Finding real peace, freedom and beauty,[1] addresses this important topic in the final section which is titledDazzling Influence. In it I highlight for you, your beauty that begins from within and then radiates outwards to your world. However, my disclaimer is this—I know of no way to do that except as a result of the love and unconditional acceptance from God to us first, who gives us what we need to feel the power, the strength, the abilities and the confidence, to march forward in confidence. No matter your skill set, outward appearance, age bracket or financial situation, you can be the very best that you were created to be if you first just agree with God to believe it. Without this belief or faith in your own person, you will stay where you are today. Perhaps somewhere you are not happy with.

‘But I know God and I’m not there, so how?' you ask. Well, it might need to begin with you agreeing with God then stepping out and perhaps even taking a risk, to trial those dormant passions or abilities that you know are there but have been too fearful to try. Below is an excerpt from my book that might give you hope that you can do it.

‘A divorcee single mum I worked with, with special needs children, questioned her natural talent to write, fearing to step out and try writing challenges. She believed she would fail… after some encouragement, prayer and determination she began to reinvent her mental picture of herself, recognising the words spoken over her as a child, no longer needed to control her thoughts and beliefs. She started to take a few risks, was confirming to herself her positive attributes, with support of scriptures. She submitted some stories and articles and some have been accepted so she’s feeling better about herself. With some new-found inner confidence, her real personality and eclectic dressing style is being expressed. The real woman, the one on the inside, is coming out on the outside.’

What was her secret? Two things helped her change her negative thinking: Firstly, social support, as psychological science calls it or what I call 'caring coaching.' As I walked with her, the most important, the eternal, never changing, indisputable powerful God, was on her case.

There’s also a lot to be said for encouraging yourself in godly habits:

1. The Word of God in your head, eventually makes it to your heart. Getting it inside might take some discipline on your part but believe me, it pays off! I’ve learnt Psalm 139 and other verses that tell me how important I am to God. So, think about those verses that speak to you about your future, your abilities, your strength and your purpose.

2. Praying daily to your Father because He loves you and wants to spend time with you, will give you courage to do what He’s asking you, even if these things seem to be unusual and scary.

3. Seek out godly mentors to speak into your life. I remember years ago I sought out a beautiful woman who stood with me as I reached out into new unknown areas. I wasn’t so hesitant as I knew there was someone there for me.

4. Listen to your self-talk. You could be listening to the wrong messages that don’t want you to succeed. So decide who or what you will take on board and act on.

Stay tuned as I work through excerpts from my book because we’ll get to the real fun part. We’ve had the meat and veggies and then I’ll give you dessert. I want you to look at your outer person too. As a former fashion designer, personal grooming and style coach and design educator, I’m going to give you some useful and fun information on colours, styling and what to do if you have some problems in your wardrobe.

Love you


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[1] see insert above

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