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Updated: Aug 19, 2021

Is God an add-on in your life? As a new Christian, this was the case for me. In just a two-year timespan I was saved, married and our first child was born – a lot of change had happened very quickly. As a result, the things of God were an add-on, although I did love Him very much.

Most of us tend to do family, work, then add God to our life afterwards. When (or if) we have time then we pray, then we read our Bible and then we seek Him. We have placed Him almost in second place as a second fiddle. But when we put Him first, it’s possible for us to love and forgive others. Why? Our hearts are soft and ready to listen to the hard stuff as we spend time in His presence and His Word. And then we know loving and forgiving are for our good even when it hurts. Oh, and by the way, it does!

The greatest commandment tells us to:

'…love the Lord our God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength…And love your neighbour as yourself.' Mark 12:30-31 NKJ (emphasis mine)

As we give all of ourselves 100% to God, we can begin to do the second part of that scripture. But it’s hard to love others and self if God is an add-on.

Kate,[1] a former client, was out of sync with her extended family as a result of a financial disagreement several years earlier. She was from a formerly very close Catholic Maltese family but now meeting only at Christmas and other occasional events, all with a decided frost in the air. Kate wanted things to change. She was trying to forgive and love her extended family in her own strength but it wasn’t coming from her heart because she didn’t have a love relationship with God. God is love (1 John 4:8), so as we seek Him first (Matthew 6:33), His love spills into us and then through us. It’s a spiritual transaction. We need this love anointing in order to love others because sometimes it’s just very hard to do and only by allowing the Holy Spirit to work in us, can it happen . One day Kate met the Lord and her heart softened and then she knew she needed to change to see a change within her family. Slowly things did change for the better because God was where He needed to be in her life. First! She began to love and forgive because she was experiencing it first-hand.

So let me ask you again: where is God in your life? Have you let your first love become second place? Knowing Him, spending time with Him, allows us to be open to adjustment, in order to love the unlovely and forgive the unforgivable.

Imagine, if you can, a world where we all love and forgive others because our hearts are soft and malleable enough to allow God to transform us first from our inside. That’s how you can forgive.

Love Peta XO

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