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Updated: Aug 10, 2021


Places to go! People to see and things to do! Busy, busy, busy. My life. Yours too? Is this a result of always needing to perform? Would you consider that your drivenness has something to do with shame? Perhaps you are striving for perfection, for recognition or for acceptance. As kids if you haven’t felt loved for who you are but rather for what you do, this could set you up for a life of striving (Most parents do their best but it’s a tough gig). But you might have felt driven to be good, better, perfect. Bit of an illusion isn’t it? Being driven is related to shame, not feeling worthy or good enough.

God wants you to fall in love with yourself because He has. Not in a prideful way but by recognising you are made in His image. He loves you and you are special. When you love yourself you are free to love others in your relationships: your spouse, your kids, your neighbours. It’s often just recognising that you are trying to please an invisible voice in your head that's telling you, you must do this, you must be on time, do it perfectly, do it better, do it right.

Recognition is being halfway there. Asking for help from your Maker and forgiving yourself as He does and starting afresh.

One of my clients had some problems with drivenness and feeling not good enough due to many generations of parental rejection. It might seem hard to break free but you can. How? Every time that thought comes into your head ‘I have to do this’, ask yourself ‘why’? Who or what is telling you that? Ask yourself another 'why?' to help you drill down to a voice that’s telling you about approval. Hard work!

With the Lord’s help: layer by layer, you can peel off the persona that you have positioned over the real you to hide the unacceptable you. Because the unacceptable you is a lie. The truth is you’re loved, made in His image, designed specifically as you are and the Bible tells you that. (See Psalm 139). It’s time to get the Word into your head, over and over. Love yourself, slow down and be you! You are amazing. Special. You can do all things, like loving yourself, through Christ.

Love Peta XO

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