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Updated: Aug 19, 2021

This week’s tip is really a game changer in relationships. If you add this to your tool kit your relationships should improve, and you will probably never lack for friends.

I have a few friends who really get me. With them I don’t feel judged, quite the reverse, I feel appreciated, loved and special. Everyone needs someone like that in their life. Someone who will love, forgive, understand and get you. They’re with you in your losses, grief, relationship break ups, health problems and shout you a coffee when the finances are low. What they offer you and me is more than just understanding. They offer empathy. Empathy is a most wonderful game changer.

Therapeutic research proves over and over that in any therapeutic relationship, it’s not necessarily the methods used but the relationship that makes the difference. This is when the therapist extends unconditional regard, empathy, understanding, care and concern, all without judgement.

The Bible says that Jesus had compassion. He wept when Lazarus died, He had compassion when people were hungry, sick, dispirited, depressed and when they were like sheep without a shepherd. Jesus shows us how the Father loves us. He is with us in the valley and on the mountain top. In Hebrews the Bible says God understands our weaknesses so when we are tired, hungry, grieving, sick or lonely – He is the one place we can go where we can receive what we need.

But we also need flesh and blood people, the Lord’s hands and feet, to show His care, love and concern. You can be that for someone. How? Listen, don’t judge, offer understanding by your verbal and non-verbal language. Use minimal responses such as – ‘yes’, ‘oh’, ‘mmm’ along with facial expressions to show you get it. Let’s be like Jesus for others.

Look around you to those in your world. Who will you extend much needed empathy to, in these trying times?

Listen to me speak on this with Jay and Sam on 96three FM, 8.30am Fridays. or later

Love Peta XO

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