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Updated: Aug 9, 2021

It could be said that life is about trying to make relationships work well. It may seem difficult or even impossible when we or others slip up by saying or doing things later regretted.

Many women I speak to in my practice desperately want to improve relationships with spouses, teens, parents, workmates, neighbours, in-laws and all those others with whom we do life.

Personally, I try to avoid arguing with my hubby. Ha! I don’t always succeed. In the Bible, Genesis 2:18 (see the amplified version), tells me that as his helper, I compliment and balance him! I like that but it can be challenging when words, testosterone and adrenalin (and my brain cells) are flying around in all directions. LOL.

Psalms 46:1 tells us that God is our ever-present HELP in troubled times. With that in mind, I came up with the anagram HELPR to help me organise my internal thoughts and the words I speak in these moments. You may also find it useful.

I use it to calmly say:

H—How I’m feeling, it could be Hurt or another feeling:

E—for Event or Explain the reason I’m feeling this way (use few words if talking with a male);

L—to speak in Love, without blame as this keeps me balanced without using the word “you” which points the finger;

P—what I would Prefer to happen, for example, “darling please speak words of encouragement rather than discouragement”; or “keep calm in traffic please my love”;

R—Receive Revelation when I later Pray. I want a key to understand what God might be teaching us personally and individually through the situation. (Ezekiel 36:25 speaks of removing the heart made of stone and replacing it with a heart of flesh.)

To sum up, we can try to keep calm in the face of relationship issues but it’s tough without a plan. We have a miracle working Helper (God). So, I use the acronym HELPR to convey to others How I’m feeling about a particular situation or Event, in Love rather than blaming and what I would Prefer to see, then spending some focussed Prayer time asking for Revelation in us both.

Precious girls! Things CAN be different!

Love Peta XO

Love and Hugs,


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